Beginning Steps - Planning for Sexual Discovery
Suggested Script and Questions to Consider:
Sometimes when women who have been treated or hurt in the past by a family member or someone to whom they trusted, they may use substances to numb out their emotional pain and past memories. Part of what we want to offer you in treatment is an opportunity to explore past sexual behaviors and how alcohol and drugs may have gotten in the way of your ability to have healthy sexual relationships.
This is going to require us to take things slow and go at your pace. It is important that you feel safe and assured that what you share can help us in building a plan – a sexual recovery plan. The goal is to have the central focus be sobriety with healthy sexuality. Would you like to work together towards this goal? Questions to consider:
- Has anyone tried to hurt you sexually, physically, or emotionally?
- Have you been involved sexually in the past? And if so, have you found sex to be rewarding? In what ways?
- Have there been challenges sexually for you in the past? If this is true, can you describe what the challenges have been for you?
- How would you describe your current level of interest in sex – either solo (masturbation) or with a partner? (How does your present appraisal/review compare with past experiences?)
- If at any time you feel ready for a sexual relationship, what would you find rewarding in a sexual relationship? What would you not want in a sexual relationship?
- In the past, have you liked having sex with men, women, both, or not at all?
- Have substances played a role in your sexuality and/or relationships? And if so, can you describe in what ways? (To numb out painful emotional feelings, to feel sexy, and/or to have sex) Have you had sex without substance use?
- How can we work together to ensure that you have a safe and positive experience in your sexual relationships while maintaining sobriety?
- What do you feel needs to be in place before becoming sexually involved with someone?
- What are qualities and traits that you would like to see in an intimate partner?
- Are these traits different from past relationships and if so, how?